


still in touch with you

by Jacynon



Series: Postgame Survival Trio Adventures [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, F/F, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 00:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13306128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacynon/pseuds/Jacynon
Summary: When Maki opens the door to the changing room, she sees Himiko's pale face staring intensely at itself through the vanity on the far wall."O - Oh," Himiko's head whips around when she spots Maki's figure in the mirror's background. "Harumaki, are you...here to change, too?"





	still in touch with you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is a. I guess short continuation of another postgame oneshot I wrote not too long ago! You don't necessarily need to read that one to understand this one, but I think it'll be a lot easier to know what's going on if you do.
> 
> also I'm practically using this to advertise a postgame survival trio playlist I'll probably never make. title is from Feel by A Life Divided.

Maki would say that being around others who're far more stressed than her tends to lessen her own stress.

That's only based off the experiences she has memories of, though. It's not like any of those are _real_. But since they're what have shaped the type of person she is today, she supposes that whether or not they're real doesn't matter. They are - or at least _were_ \- real to her. She remembers her childhood friend, a girl who doesn't exist, a huge crybaby who Maki would have to help in dire situations because Maki needed to learn how to be the voice of reason, the one person who could keep a level head.

That girl wasn't real, but the memory of her is.

Sometimes, Maki looks at Himiko and sees that girl.

There's a lot about Himiko to admire. It's clear to see how hard she tries, how by each and every day she forces herself to be more passionate and more optimistic she becomes that much more genuine. In a sense, Himiko is a grounding aspect of the relationship between the three of them. Maki thinks that she and Shuuichi are relatively decent at being alone together, but if it weren't for Himiko, she imagines that the two of them would eventually weigh each other down.

After all, Maki's had to become the optimistic one of the two between her and Shuuichi in a lot of cases, and that sort of pressure is hard to deal with at times.

But because of Himiko's presence, that pressure isn't always on Maki's shoulders. They're able to share it.

It's just unfortunate that once Himiko gets into a rut, she tends to freeze up and fixate on the negative. Even a person determined to be happy and forward-thinking isn't immune to the mundane terrors of the world they live in.

Maki doesn't find it hard to admit that she's worried about Himiko. She hasn't felt weird about expressing her affections for her two friends in quite some time, actually. But she thinks she cares about Himiko and Shuuichi in different ways, feels affection for them in different ways, and it's not hard to understand why. Her feelings for Shuuichi are like that of a platonic soulmate, someone who she can trust to be there for her no matter what, someone who will listen to her and who will bring her down to reality when she needs it. There's potential there for something more, but the way things are now between them is just what Maki needs.

Her feelings for Himiko are...less clear.

There's no real tension between them. They're definitely good friends who care about each other deeply, but Maki finds it harder to pinpoint her feelings for Himiko in the same decisive way she can describe how she feels about Shuuichi.

The only way that feels satisfactory are disjointed words. How she feels about Himiko - _caring, protective, appreciative, loving_ \- and it's that last one that makes Maki wonder about herself.

Maki remembers how she'd kissed Shuuichi, once, by almost what she could have called impulse. _Because she needed it at the time._

Yet what she feels she needs from Shuuichi isn't that kind of love. She doesn't need that kind of affection from him. She doesn't need to kiss him or touch him or hold his hand because she already knows what it is that she _does_ need from him.

But what about Himiko?

What does Maki need from Himiko?

These thoughts race through her head as she quickens her pace down the hall. To see Himiko. Mostly to check up on how she's doing.

Because once they'd all gotten news of where they'd be going, Maki saw the color drain from Himiko's complexion. It's not like any of them are particularly happy about the situation they've agreed to be a part of, but something about Himiko's reaction felt less like the begrudging frustration Maki felt and knew Shuuichi was experiencing and a lot more like _terror_. As if Himiko is absolutely dreading what's to come.

And so, Maki's worried.

That worry is what brings her to the end of the mostly empty hallway, members of the crew passing by her on the way there as she attempts to ignore their glances and shameless stares. _Fucking animals,_ the lot of them. But she doesn't have the energy to waste on them.

When Maki opens the door to the changing room, she sees Himiko's pale face staring intensely at itself through the vanity on the far wall.

"O - Oh," Himiko's head whips around when she spots Maki's figure in the mirror's background. "Harumaki, are you...here to change, too?"

From the looks of it, Himiko seems already done changing. She hasn't grown much at all in the time since they escaped from the killing game, but Maki supposes the same can be said for her and Shuuichi. It's not exactly a requirement, but they were asked to all wear the outfits they had on during _DanganRonpa_. Maki hopes the money they're getting from appearing on television will be enough to quell her urges to burn her old school uniform. Probably not entirely, but at least a bit.

It's the first interview they've had since they all moved in together.

Originally, Maki wasn't going to wear her old outfit, but she now feels obligated to. She can't let herself leave Himiko to do it alone, since she's not sure whether Shuuichi would wear his or not. "Yeah," she gives a now truthful lie and heads to pick out her uniform from the clothing rack. At the very least, Himiko seems to be a bit placated, having sat down in the vanity's chair and relaxing her shoulders in a way that seems rather purposeful. Maki opens her mouth again as she slips out of her skirt and into the old-turned-new one. "Are you going to wear your hat, too?"

The question catches her a bit off-guard and she jumps, then gives a weary glance to the side of the room. Maki follows her eye-line and sees the abandoned hat sitting on a desk. Giving a shrug, Himiko looks away. "Nyeh...I was thinking about it, but it feels kinda weird to have it on now. I'm gonna pass."

"You had it on before, though, didn't you?" as Maki asks nonchalantly, she finishes up tying the bow on her shirt.

Himiko blinks at her. "Huh? How'd you know that?"

"You have hat-hair," responds Maki rather bluntly, jabbing a finger in the direction of Himiko's head.

The redhead turns quickly and gapes in the mirror, then the tips of her ears turn red. "J - Jeeze! You shoulda warned me I looked like a mess!"

It's hard not to smile at that.

A familiar warmth bubbles in Maki's chest. _I love her_ , passes through her mind before she can give it more than a fleeting acknowledgment. There's a lot of weight that those words carry, but they flow so naturally and without pain that it's hard to believe they've even existed in the abstract. There's nothing wrong with that feeling, she tells herself, even if it's not something she totally understands. She's allowed it.

He would have wanted it for her.

Those feelings of _I can't love anyone else_ are more than likely the exact opposite of what he would have wanted her to take away. He would want her to move on.

Is this her moving on?

"Here," Maki crosses the short distance between them and picks up one of the hairbrushes on the vanity. She puts a hand on Himiko's shoulder and urges her to face forward. "I'll take care of it for you."

Even though the gesture somewhat surprises Himiko, she doesn't say or do anything to stop Maki from undoing the knots and small tangles in her red hair. They both fall silent, allowing the soft touches to be the only things that pass between them, Himiko's slowing breath becoming a sort of background music as Maki contemplates how this sort of scene might appear to an onlooker. _Comfortable and intimate._ That's how it feels, anyway. It's hard for Maki not to stare at the smaller girl in the glass reflection.

Despite her demeanor calming down, Himiko still seems more than lost in thought, her brows furrowed in deep concentration. Maki wants to tell her to stop thinking so much, to just get through the interview for the sake of their financial stability, that it'll have to be like ripping off a band-aid and they'll need to get it over with quickly.

But finally, Himiko voices her concerns, sounding weak and small. "W - What if...they ask me to talk about...those two?"

 _Tenko and Angie_. It's clear they're the ones she's talking about.

"You won't have to talk about anything you don't want to," Maki rushes to reassure her. "I'll make sure of that."

Maybe the situation hasn't really sunk in for Maki, because she's only now realizing just how uncomfortable it's going to be, answering questions about her dead friends from people who saw her experiences as a work of fiction. What if she's asked questions about Kaito? Actually, she's almost certain that's one of the things people in the world they live in would be most curious about. _The romantic subplot._ The idea of it makes her stomach churn and her mouth go dry.

And it makes her empathetic towards Shuuichi, someone so core to the " _narrative_ " of the show, because she knows he's going to take the worst of it. If they ask him about Kaede or about Kaito, which they likely will, it's hard to tell in the state of mind he's in how he'll handle it.

She swallows. _He'll be fine._

But then, she imagines it has to be the same for Himiko regarding Tenko and Angie. That dread Maki saw and can still plainly see on Himiko's face now makes a lot more sense.

"I don't know," Himiko lets out, sounding lost and tired.

Briefly pausing in her arm's movements, Maki leans down and puts their heads together, looking at the both of them in the vanity mirror. "After everything we've been through, this'll be nothing."

Those words seem to calm Himiko down, just a bit.

Maki then pulls them slightly apart, shifting her head to look directly at the other girl, cutting off their previously _in_ direct eye contact. She gives the most gentle smile she can muster and Himiko seems to find it in herself to smile back, and that's more than enough for Maki, though she doesn't know at all how to verbally convey that. Maybe it's easier for her to acknowledge her affections for her friends, but she thinks it'll take a while before she stops having the obstacle of just not knowing _how_ to express it.

But, this? This, just between them, is enough. Maki thinks she's getting across exactly what she wants to.

And then, after a few seconds pass between them, their faces go blank.

It's almost as if time stops, like the room around them disappears and the world is only left with the two of them looking at each other. Without taking her eyes off of Himiko's, Maki lays the brush down and carefully brings her fingers up to run them through the redhead's hair, laying the palm of her hand on Himiko's cheek.

It's Himiko who leans forward first, but only by a fraction of a second before Maki.

Maki doesn't have a lot of experience with kisses, but she thinks that it doesn't matter, because everything about Himiko is so unbelievably _soft_ that Maki thinks she could relax into the other girl forever. Their eyes go half-lidded, but they don't close all the way, keeping their gazes locked on each other like the world and the worries they've come to recognize as part of their daily lives are burned away for this moment.

 _I love her_ , Maki thinks again, and it's not an abstract thought anymore.

Pulling away is like an immediate rush of cold water's been thrown upon them.

There's a visible uncertainty in Himiko's eyes, the same kind that Maki imagines is evident in her own. It feels as though they're testing the waters, afraid of what the other might do or say to break the momentum, to put an end to what's blossoming between them. _Was that okay to do?_ Maki can't stop herself from wondering what this development might bring for the three of them. Is she ready for this kind of thing? Are either of them?

Maki's so lost in her own world that she doesn't realize Himiko's been saying her name until the smaller girl brings a hand up to the side of Maki's head and pulls her forward, pushing their foreheads together.

The closeness really starts to dawn on Maki and she's almost breathless.

"We should - um," Himiko's voice cracks and she clears her throat. "We should get out there already, probably. Saihara can't just do it alone."

Then, Himiko lets go and their faces split apart from each other.

It feels for a bit, in Maki's daze, as if the kiss between them was nothing more than a fever dream she'd conjured up. She worries about what it means if Himiko's trying to just pretend it never happened. The possibility of her feelings not being returned after that make her heart ache and burn with a saddened betrayal. And with the way Himiko checks herself in the mirror to ensure she looks presentable, avoiding looking at Maki at all, like she's about ready to walk out the door, the likelihood of that only grows.

But then, just as Maki's about to make some sort of protest, just as she's about to ask what they _are_ , Himiko turns back to her and quickly moves to give her another kiss.

This one is fleeting, over before Maki even registers that it's happened, but it's just as sweet as the first one.

Himiko stands and heads for the hall. And just like that, Maki understands. The kiss is like a silent reassurance, a promise that they _will_ talk about it later, and Maki thinks that _that's_ what she needed. Himiko conveys so much with the simple action of letting their lips meet and the faint, phantom pressure still on Maki's lips make her think that the warmth in her chest is going to incinerate her from the inside out.

All three of them still have to get through the interview, but Maki's finally able to allow something else to occupy her thoughts, to put her into an unfocused haze, and she decides that's quite alright.

It might even be exactly what she needs.


End file.
